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    22 May

    100 ways to cut 100 calories

    hola guys!
    I found this article from the womans health email that gets sent to me (I attempt to stay healthy - and sometimes these motivate me, or offer cheats...) I read the following and had such a good laugh out of it I thought I should share!
    100 ways to cut 100 calories
    New Year's has long passed, and your resolutions have gone the way of the dinosaurs (too bad you can't blame that on a giant meteor). Why? It's really hard to stay motivated during ice cream season. That's why we're giving you 100 creative ways to help you shrink your muffin top. Do five of them a day and you can lose a pound a week. Hey, you've already burned 2 calories reading this far. See how easy that was?
     
    1. Slather on lip balm 765 times.
    2. Relive the '80s. Lip sync George Michael's Faith 16 times.
    3. DVR an episode of Arrested Development and watch it commercial free. (Ten straight minutes of laughter can burn 40 calories--no joke.)
    4. Watch the documentary An Inconvenient Truth. (Serious stuff doesn't scorch as many.)
    5. Wiggle while you watch for 40 minutes: Fidgeters burn up to 350 more calories a day than couch potatoes.
    6. Get off your ass 33 times to change the channel.
    7. Use the remote to channel surf for 68 minutes.
    8. Surf for real for 34 minutes.
    9. Fly a kite for 20 minutes.
    10. Play beach volley-ball for 13 minutes.
    11. Bounce the ball on your knee 600 times.
    12. Spend 17 minutes wrestling the beach ball away from your boyfriend.
    13. Carry a cooler stocked with three bottles of water, a six-pack, four PB&Js, two oranges, a bag of tortilla chips, and 12 servings of cool cucumber salsa (go to womenshealthmag.allrecipes.com for the recipe) for 22 minutes.
    14. Find the perfect teeny-weeny polka-dot bikini: Try on 16 suits (one every 3 minutes).
    15. Polka for real for 23 minutes.
    16. Do the horizontal polka missionary-style for an hour and 7 minutes.
    17. Spice things up with 35 minutes of foreplay and 45 minutes of sex in different positions.
    18. Ride him like a cow-girl for 26 minutes (straddling requires more calorie-burning leg work).
    19. Swing a lasso over your head 375 times.
    20. Milk a cow for 34 minutes.
    21. Shear three sheep (6 minutes per sheep).
    22. Fish for 41 minutes.
    23. Make like a fish and swim at a leisurely pace for 17 minutes.
    24. Do 250 breaststrokes (about 10 minutes).
    25. Indulge your inner dork and do 27 underwater -handstands.
    26. Dog-paddle for 17 minutes.
    27. Walk a toy poodle for 41 minutes (at 2 miles per hour).
    28. Let a great Dane walk you for 13 minutes (5 mph).
    29. Learn to "walk the dog": Yo-yo for 25 minutes.
    30. Alternate between cat pose, cow pose, and downward dog 13 times, holding each for 30 seconds.
    31. Walk up and down 33 flights of stairs.
    32. Strap on your 4-inch stilettos and you only have to climb 25 flights.
    33. Hit the stair climber for 11 minutes.
    34. Push a grocery cart for 45 minutes.
    35. Put a 42-pound 4-year-old in the child seat and it'll only take half an hour.
    36. Opt for self-checkout: Wait in line for 7 minutes, ring yourself up for another 10, bag your own grub, and load up the car.
    37. Carry five grocery bags from the car to the kitchen and put the food away, take out the trash, wash the dishes, and wipe down the kitchen counter.
    38. Eat chili for a couple of days: Research shows that chili peppers boost your metabolic rate, burning 50 more cals a day.
    39. Chew calorie-free gum for 9 hours.
    40. Wash, halve, and seed two acorn squash (I think we call them butternut?), then watch them bake for 30 minutes.
    41. Play squash for 8 minutes.
    42. Play "Chopsticks" on the piano incessantly for 41 minutes.
    43. Eat four meals with chopsticks instead of a fork: Slowing down can help you consume about 25 fewer calories per meal.
    44. Lift and lower a soy sauce bottle 170 times with your right hand and a wok 170 times with your left.
    45. Take a leisurely walk in the park for 51 minutes.
    46. Walk backward in the park for 43 minutes. (For every 8 calories burned walking forward, walking backward burns 10.)
    47. Walk with hiking poles for 22 minutes--you'll burn 20 percent more calories. (We like Keytz Nordic Walking Fitness Poles; $50 per pair, amazon.com.)
    48. Pole-vault for 17 minutes.
    49. Sing the Grease original soundtrack from start to finish.
    50. Degrease by scrubbing in the shower for 15 minutes, then spend 7 minutes shaving, 3 minutes toweling off, 4 minutes moisturizing, and 20 minutes blow-drying and styling your hair.
    51. Shop during your lunch hour while carrying a 7-pound hobo bag (and, naturally, a few new purchases).
    52. Have fun when you get back to work: Twirl 123 times in your office chair (try not to puke).
    53. E-mail for 68 minutes.
    54. Get casual for 4 days: A study shows that people take 491 more steps and burn 25 more calories on days they wear jeans to work.
    55. Go backpacking for 15 minutes.
    56. Strap a parachute to your back and spend 30 minutes skydiving over the volcanoes in Tongariro National Park, New Zealand.
    57. Land in the Taupo Volcanic Zone and climb 26 percent of the way up in 18 minutes.
    58. Cool down with 20 minutes of white-water rafting in the nearby Tongariro River.
    59. Take in the greenery: Sit in lotus position and breathe deeply for an hour and 42 minutes.
    60. Drink 3 cups of green tea in 24 hours: Researchers say it can increase energy expenditure by 106 calories.
    61. Chug 12 8-ounce glasses of ice water a day (it has the same effect on your metabolism as green tea).
    62. Go 20 mph on your bike for 6 1/2 minutes.
    63. Stay up on a unicycle for 20 minutes.
    64. Ride a bike built for two for 12.
    65. Ask your guy to massage you for an hour and 50 minutes.
    66. Pay him back with a 25-minute rubdown.
    67. Play Twister for an hour and 8 minutes.
    68. Play the Nintendo GameCube's Mario Kart for 41 minutes.
    69. Better yet, get moving with the GameCube's Dance Dance Revolution Mario Mix for 24 minutes. (Turn on the Workout feature to see how many calories you've burned.)
    70. If you're more sports goddess than cha-cha dancer, play interactive Wii Tennis for 13 minutes
    71. No game necessary: Do 780 jumping jacks. Yes, 780.
    72. Make like Laila Ali and jump rope as fast as you can for 8 minutes.
    73. Jump on a trampoline for 29 minutes.
    74. Jog on the treadmill at 4 mph for 25 minutes or at 7 mph for 9 minutes.
    75. Run 5 percent of a marathon at a 10-minute-mile pace.
    76. Wait in an airport security line for 15 minutes, walk through the metal detector once, lift and lower a 40-pound suitcase twice, then run for 3 minutes to catch your flight (stupid lines!).
    77. Fill out 86 luggage tags.
    78. Tag along with a mail carrier for 6 percent of her route. Mail carriers take about 18,904 steps a day--four times more than the average American.
    79. Accompany a nurse on her rounds for half an hour--she logs about 8,648 steps.
    80. Nurse your newborn for 30 minutes.
    81. Nurse a hangover: Sleep in for an hour and 53 minutes.
    82. Read Capote's Breakfast at Tiffany's from start to finish.
    83. Kick off your Sunday shoes and dance to the first four songs off the Footloose soundtrack.
    84. Spend 29 minutes mopping over any scuff marks.
    85. Rearrange your furniture for 17 minutes.
    86. Sweep your floors for 15 minutes, then vacuum for 15.
    87. Dirt Devil your car mats for 5 minutes, then wax your ride for 20.
    88. When you fill 'er up, walk into the station to pay. 23 times.
    89. Cut your lawn with a push mower for 17 minutes.
    90. Push a power mower instead for 23.
    91. Brush your teeth for 2 minutes, 25 times.
    92. Floss and gargle with Listerine after each brushing and you'll burn another 100.
    93. Smile for the camera: Shoot pictures for 35 minutes.
    94. Say cheesy! Hula-hoop for 22 minutes. (The Magic Hoop shows you how many rotations and calories burned; $40, magichoopusa.com.)
    95. Crank your iPod as you walk at 3.5 mph for 23 minutes. (Studies show listening to music makes you torch more calories.)
    96. Go retro: Roller-skate for 15 minutes.
    97. Show off your bowling skills for 34 minutes.
    98. Spend 53 minutes learning the French alphabet.
    99. Now read 30 pages of Hugo's Les Misérables.
    100. Read Nos. 1 to 100 nine more times
     
    Loves and hugs to you all.
     
    Julz
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    21 May

    Update on teh madness that is my life!

    update on the crazy life of me.

    You thought I had gone for good into the land of jolling (partying) didn't ya? Admit it, you thought you had lost me to non-stop night time outings and socialising! Well - you are partially right, I have been hectic (understatement!!) so... now time to catch you up on what has been going on in the life of me since the mugging!

    So... the week progressed in Cape Town, I went to work, went out on the occasional evening to play pool and have my farewell (there is a mish mash of pictures uploaded into my gallery called May) in Cape Town, which was great, there weren't tons of us, but there were enough of us to have a farewell and at my favorite spot - I'm sure you have guessed it... a touch of madness.
    We went through and Richard the bar manager had a present for me... a kiddie alice band and hair elastic sets with butterfly clips etc... in baby blue. **cough** he likes to embarrass me! So needless to say, everyone agreed that I should donn the fluffy hair accessories and that I DEFINITELY should have pigtails. Good thing I like being the center of attention, even if it is due to looking like an idiot!

    I miss A touch of madness, the people there and my friends from the office in CT already, but that doesn't mean I'm not happy to be home!

    Saturday noon we flew back to JHB, the flight was pretty uneventful, which is not a bad thing lets be honest! We land and automatically everyone stands up, being cheap flights your ass is asleep by the time you land and you are desperate to get the blood flowing again! So were all standing up, trying (inconspicuously) to rub our bums back to life and waiting for the doors to open. The didn't. Somehow they could not get the gangway into the airport to connect to the plane. So after half an hour, they bring the stairs to the rear exit, and we clamber off the plane and get onto the shuttle bus. The shuttle bus takes ages to fill... then literally drove us in a u shape to the terminal  20 steps away from where the plane was standing! DO ME A FAVOUR WOULD YA!!  All these regulations are so mad, I mean I could have walked faster!So, we get to the baggage claim and the conveyor belt wasn't working. Welcome to Africa. By this point I'm stressing, the friend that is picking us up was has a photoshoot to go to, and while it was agreed that we would go with her we were stretching it badly just by having her pick us up. Or so we thought.

    Finally we get our bags, bolt for the exit, meet up with her and head off to Pretoria (about a 40/50 min drive) we arrive after having to do some serious map reading, which is NOT my forte, at the college where we were told to go and we sit and wait. and wait. and wait. The whole day went pear shaped and I can honestly say that the "photographer" (oooh I'm gonna get int trouble for those inverted comma's) and I will never speak again. I forgot just how nasty I could be when it was needed. :) ok, maybe needed is a strong word... when it is deserved? hmmm same thing, either way I would love to go into this and spill all but the RSS feed goes straight to my facebook account and wow would that stir it all up!

    So the shoot took till 7:30, and the drive back was about an hour as Nicki dropped Mokky off before me, by this time we were both quite ravenous, so off to steers for a burger, then to the Mug and bean for bottomless coffee. a very silly concept that could bankrupt a business if Nicki and I become locals. After sitting and drinking the coffee/hot chocolates it sort of hit us just how buggered we were, so that was us done for the night!

    Sunday I saw the folks, went out for coffee and hit the club Capello's with my stunning Greek friend Zoi, and Marianne. We danced, had a few drinks, talked crap and laughed at the expressions of the various people who read Zoi's shirt (the front says I'M HOT. The back says: YOU'RE NOT!) hoooweee did some people take offense.

    Monday was a chilled one at home with my flatmate catching up and having dinner, Tuesday - I can't remeber to be honest, its just been mad like that, Wednesday - Movies with my mom, sister and family friend who we also call mom - we saw Hot Fuzz... a very VERY dark comedy, hysterical if you have an evil side and a wicked sense of humour. so needless to say when the church spire went weeee smash point side down into someones head, that was it - we were collapsing! it was awesome, if you are a twisted individual like myself, then please SEE IT!

    Thursday was Heathen's first gig. Heathen is my ex band member Sherwyn (the man without  whome the band would not have existed!) new band. It's a HARD rock/ metal band, which was amusing when we all heard that the drummer had bailed on the evening - so it was now an acoustic gig. We get there, I walk in see Sherwyn, say hi, and he says "do you remember the words to that song?" I'm thinking "what song" he carries on "you know... innocence" - of course I do, it was my favorite song - to which he replies "good, cos your singing it tonight." I was so happy, man I love singing and the stage! The gig was cool, we all sang along to pearl jam and offspring covers! twas fantastic!

    Friday night - Paddy's - pool evening, it's amazing, two girls playing pool... I mean we hadn't even walked up to the table yet and there two blokes were asking to challenge. heh - boys!! They are amusing!

    Saturday night we had out Superhero's party, we got to make up the superhero, so I went as dame dementia, donning big boots, fishnet stockings, silk boxer shorts, my skull shirt a cape and black gloves. there are only two pics, and none of them have the full costume! sorry about that! Sunday - saw my mate Geee as he was flying off to France on business, then went to visit the folks, then a farewell braai

    (bbq)for a mate moving to CT, and then played some pool with a relative stranger! **phew** like  I said, i have had a bit on lately! Scary thing is it isn't slowing down, apart from tonight, I have something on every night this week - and I couldn't be happier about it! man i love being busy!

    So, now that I have given you a catch upon my life, the next post will be an amusing one, not just a semi-detailed diary, I promise, in fact

    I have just the thing to put up, but that will have to wait until tomorrow!

    Loves and hugs to you all
    Julz

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    07 May

    Only in Africa

    I was mugged this weekend. Now now - don't stress... I'm fine! All I ended up loosing was my handbag with my ID book and some make up in it, everything else fell out so I managed to recover my wallet, cell phone the rental car keys etc. Now it wasn't your average mugging, there was something special about this one, my assailant had very distinguished features... he weighed between 20 and 31kg, is of the Chacma family, has a downwardly pointed face, and his canine teeth were about 5cm long... thats right... I was mugged by a baboon.
    Right... let me backtrack a little...
     
    On Saturday morning a mate of mine from JHB came to CT on holiday for a week - I decided to take him round Cape Town - the scenic areas. So we headed straight towards Muizenburg, and I figured I would head out to Cape Point as the drive is so stunning, I also wanted to stop at one of the pullover points to show him smitswinkel - which is one of those places you just have to see as it seems so isolated. Its a valley that you look down and right at the bottom are houses - which are so incredibly isolated, anything you take down there, on foot - you have to bring back up with you. There is no electricity, refuse removal or road access for the cottages that are down there and the path down is dirt, stones, rocks and a jagged walkway. This sort of blows my mind as I can't comprehend life away from a city environment... we used to go away every weekend as kids to a farm with my parents, where there was no electricity and we had to use donkey boilers etc but hell - it's not something I would choose to do for longer than a week.
     
    So we get to the car park area (as such, more like a dirt section you pull your car off on) and I see these baboons... I know they are strong and vicious bastards and that they are not scared of people. So I'm weary as hell - make sure they are walking away - cool... they aren’t close, so we get out of the car, I keep my eye on them the whole time, but by now they are far away, so we walk to the edge so Mokky can check out the houses in the valley, and right next to us from the bushes below pops up this big bloody baboon - so I say to him, come, we're outta here. We start walking briskly back to the car, and the baboon follows... he overtakes Mokky, walks to catch up with me and grabs my handbag so i hold on to the straps and start yanking it to get him to leave and we entered a tug of war. The bugger was bloody strong, we tussled for a few minutes and then he started baring his teeth and swiping at me, that’s when I thought "sod this shit, and dropped the bag, the baboon bolted and a few of the people in the area started chasing, one guy told me to go get into his car with his wife. They managed to recover all the necessities, thankfully! The lady in the car with me had been attacked by the same baboon - who came back up to the road and jumped on the car we were in, then started hassling others and jumped into one of the cars that 2 people were about to get into. So - that was the adrenalin section of the day sorted. I find it highly amusing that I come from the crime capital of South Africa, but I was mugged in Cape Town... by a strong, hairy baboon. hehe - and hell, I needed an excuse to buy a new handbag, so its all good.
     
    From there I took Mokky to check the penguins at boulder beach, then onto chapmans peak for a drive and on to fish on the rocks for some lunch. Twas a good day.
     
    Sunday we went to an esoteric fare with my friend Janine and her mom. Interesting. Huge community of hippies. ugh - have they not heard of shampoo? heh! so we wandered round there, had some coffee, tried to look deep, Janine had her angel cards read, I considered having my tarot cards read, but didn’t, and then we moved on. I got a new handbag. Sunday night was great, we went to Moyo out Stellenbosch way (winelands) it was awesome, we sat in the trees - as in they have built platforms there and you park off above everyone, there are fires going, African music, you get blankets as we are heading into winter, they paint markings on your face, the buffet is as long as 2 busses, you get serenaded by the guys who work there and its incredibly beautiful! J9, Morgan, Mokky and I had a blast!! There are pictures, but they are on Mokky's camera, so it will have to wait till he gets home and downloads them.
     
    That’s the long and short of my weekend! I hope you all had as much fun, in under a week I'm back in the land of the living in JHB, and then the hardcore partying begins again... I can't wait!
     
    Loves and hugs to ya
    Julz
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    02 May

    a quickie

    First off, i want to say MO - I'm so sorry about all the shit you are going through, I hope your dad gets better, and that things settle down, and quickly - we are ALL thinking of you!!

     

    Well, its been over a month since I was deported (for lack of a better word) from London and over a month since I have been in Cape town working for my company here. It was fantastic while the folks were visiting as I really got out, saw the sights, ate at stunning places and basically got spoilt. Since they have left, the furthest I have gone is to Observatory to the favorite pub, a touch of madness. Every time Janine and I go there it is the same story – as we walk up the stairs you just hear Richard the barman say “OH FU**ING HELL… YOU BLOODY BACK AGAIN?”  Now I know most would take offense to this – but that’s his way of saying – yay you’re back! Ok ok – so that’s how I interpret it, especially since he has gotten into the habit of buying us shooters and giving us chocolate every time we go there! Hehe – teachers’ pets… and I don’t know why, we are just as obnoxious and Rude to him as he is to us! It’s great.

     

    On the 12th I’m heading back to JHB, which I’m over the moon about as I’m really starting to miss my mates and my family, and straight men! CT is the gay capital of South Africa and being the attention junkie I am – I’m really really looking forward to getting back to where the men pay attention to the females as opposed to the other men!

     

    So what’s been happening – well, myself and a new acquaintance (virtual one that is) got pestered into starting a group for a good friend of ours, and we have set up an even to auction her off on the 19th of May, which if nothing else should be highly entertaining! The group has basically been put together to aid Nicki in getting some action. Facebook is great fun, I have joined numerous groups like flash mobs. Flash mobs are when 200 people rock up at the same place, do something completely random, like dance for the duration of one song on their headphones, and then leave.  Its one of those mind screws to the people who see it but have no idea what the hell is going on. Which is probably the appeal.  I’m looking forward to the next event, which will be my first! YAY FLASHMOBS!

     

    Otherwise, not too much, hence me not updating in a while, basically work has been hectic, and I have stopped drinking, started gymming religiously and am eating healthy. See, this staying on my own in a place where I only know few people is having a bad effect on me! TG my mate Mokky is coming down to CT on Saturday for a week or so! It shall give me a reason to go back to my normal socializing ways, even though I will be working during the day, it will make me go out and start acting my age again in the evenings.

     

    OK – I really, sadly enough, have very little else to report… ok, let me rephrase that – I have NOTHING else to report, I’m sure you don’t want me to tell you about seeing the hairiest legs on a woman I have EVER seen in my life (and she was in a small skirt, the legs were not even shapely – mind you maybe they appeared larger than they were due to the hair?) Or about the man at a touch of madness who boomed at Morgan at the top of his very deep, very loud voice (and this bar is minute) “AND YOU MY DEAR SIR… ARE YOU OF THE HOMOSEXUAL PERSUASION” and them promptly waved his hands about in a manic way, causing him to break a few dangling glasses. *sigh* some peoples children.

     

    So since you probably don’t want to hear about these small stories, I bid you farewell, and hope you all have a fantabulous week!

     

    Loves and hugs

    julz

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